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oh shit oh shit
I don't know whats going on in my life. Im confused yes...needing somthing when I don't have it, looking around for more when I do have it. I need some alone time now. bye
editedededed----->
damn, ladies. don't you hate living you're life off of guys? when you like someone alot, the days goes as follows: you're either really fuckin depressed that he didnt text back when you said somthing flirtacious, or you're on e when he's spittin game or givin you attention. thats gay. I feel like a fuckin 14 yr old all over again.
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Haven't wrote in here for awhile.
Yes well, alot has been happening in my life I suppose. I dont feel comfortable exposing my personal life, thoughts, and feelings. Even with close friends. I will tell a story though, because of this fine, fine young man that I use to talk to. He was half filipino half greek...yes, good mix, the result of these two attractive combination ended with a unique, intellegint fine ass. I read somthing on he wrote a long time ago that my 15 yr old mind took as a refrence for later expierences. It also was somthign I use to do as a chilid back in cali. I'm 17 now, and I dont quite know wheather I planned accordingly. Here it is.
Christine's story time
So when I was a little girl my mom use to give quarters for the ise cream man. Everyday I would go out into th yard and wait for my delicious goodies to arrive. I would lay on the grass and throw my quarters one at a time int he air and catch them. One day, I threw one of the quarters a little too hard and it went astray. I was looking for it in the grass, scrutinizing the ground in panic as the ice cream man arrived. My little fats ass was traumitized. Bringing the story back to my point, I had somthing worth value, played games with it, and now it's lost. I took it for granted, yes somthing all human beings do too much, but now this episode in innocence iis on a bigger scale. I had somthing I took for granted, and now it closed the book on me. I'm a finished chapter in the life of that other person. And although it's totally all my fault, I'm in a state of content. Why? Because I'm happy I finally recieved the karma I've been giving. I feel like I didn't lose, but nor did I gain. I guess You can see Im at an equalibrim which the turn out of events, but then there ar eth natural feelings of being hurt, confused and wondering if what I did was right. Which I know is okay...it's normal for everyone to feel like that. Hopefully I realize that I'm playin games before It happens to me again int he future.
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| no more ugly pix. got tired of looking at them. they will soon be replaced with pictures of me and some other ppl shit faced and dancing. |
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PAWTY TONIGHT! =)
editededed--->
no more drinking like a maniac for christine. shit's crazy...all I gotta say. |
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Damn....this song is hella sophmore year. H E L L A! haha.
I remember back in the day when xanga was poppin, I use to get me like 60 or 1000002837 e-props and shit.
And I'd be like:
"ohhh...hell yea im the shit! I got hella e-props yo!". ..
......but now I look back and I realize....that e-props are not popularity points, kids. They're just little symbolic icons of self-absorbance.(sp? is that even a word?)
So leave no props, actully only if you like what you're reading. which is a bunch of rambling, unproper grammer and spelling ehrrawrs.
Anyways, Christmas was aiight. Had better ones. Im lookin forward to drinking my life's woes away on new years. Anyways, gotta do some late ass Christmas shopping. I'm thinkin Northgate Mall...Hollister for Melinda, Theresa, and Heide? And maybe some more Victoria's Secret thongs for my Cambodian girlfriend, Homolear? Hmm.
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